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Welcome to The Spice with Chilli Rox – a weekly advice corner from the sassiest seductress in the pole world. If you have a burning question you would like to ask Chilli, send it in an email to:

chillirox@auspoledancersmag.com.au

 

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My dream is to perform at MPDA but I’m full of self doubt

 

Dear Chilli,

I love pole. I’m putting off saving for my wedding so I can do as many classes and competitions as possible. It’s what I want for my life. My goal is to compete at Miss Pole Dance one day. The problem is, often I don’t feel like I’ll ever be good enough, especially when I see my friends doing so much better than me at dancing and learning new moves. I work really hard and I know I’m progressing, but after a bad training session or attempt to choreograph but really just end up flailing around, I really struggle to feel like I’ll ever achieve my goals.

How do I stay positive and on track? I don’t want to give up, but some days it feels like I’m wasting my time and I’d be better off without it.

Feeling Hopeless

 

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Dear Feeling Hopeless,

 

Hmmm I love the first part of this letter when you talk about your hard work, your goals, and your progress. This is positive and awesome this is what I want you to focus on.

 

You say you feel like you’re wasting your time, well you are wasting time when you compare yourself to others and let the self doubt in. However, every time you touch the pole you are one step closer to realising your dream of being up on that Enmore Theatre stage, and I can’t think of any better way to utilise your time.

 

Would it make you feel better to know that every champion goes through the same self doubt as you? You are human! It’s normal to feel frustrated from time to time, but it’s a new year so I want a new attitude with loads of self belief. I mean, you have put pole before your wedding! Haha you’re amazing, and I know I’m going to see you at Miss Pole in the future – and I’m going to have this letter to read out for your intro!

 

Stay focused on your dreams,

 

Love Chilli xx
I'm uncomfortable with public displays of affection!
I’m uncomfortable with public displays of affection!

Dear Chilli,

I have issues with public affection. I can deal with hand holding but hugging or kissing in public just makes me cringe. I just recently committed to a relationship and my boyfriend always trys to kiss me when we go out to the shops or to eat. I just feel really weird about it but I don’t know how to tell him without offending him. Help!

Personal Space

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Dear Personal Space,

 

I think you should talk to him about it he will probably think it’s cute. We all have our quirks, I’m sure he has his, so as long as you show him you care and are affectionate in private I’m sure he won’t feel offended at all.

 

Just remember it’s all in the delivery, so be clear that you have always felt this way and if he really wants to show the world he’s with you maybe you can compromise with a little peck here and there! Talk to him 🙂

 

Love Chilli xx
I don't know why I get so itchy!
I don’t know why I get so itchy!

Dear Chilli,

I’ve just ended a long term relationship and we never used condoms. Since I started seeing other people casually I now have started using them and every time they make me INCREDIBLY itchy for the next day or two, and then it goes away (so I know it’s nothing else). I have tried latex, non latex, differently lubed ones… nothing helps. Do you have any advice on what I should do??

Itchy Nooks

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Dear Itchy Nooks,

 

I have no idea what is causing the itching? I think you may need to go and talk to a doctor just to make sure everything is okay and to talk about options. I was going to suggest using non latex options but you have tried that so I’m out of ideas!

 

If your doctor can shed some light on the cause it would be great if you could share with us. All I could get from Dr Google was latex allergy so I’m afraid I got nothing 🙁

 

Good luck,

 

Love Chilli xx

WANNA ASK CHILLI ROX?

Send your questions to chillirox@auspoledancersmag.com.au – if you are published you will receive free access to Polesphere for a month! All questions are confidential.

 

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