Welcome to The Spice with Chilli Rox – our official advice corner from the sassiest seductress in the pole world. If you have a burning question you would like to ask Chilli, send it in an email to:
I was with my ex for 6 years… We’ve been broken up for 2.5 years now and I have absolutely no remaining feelings for him. I just have one problem though, sometimes when I’m thinking in my head about something I’m going to say to my new boyfriend, I think of my ex’s name instead of my current boyfriends name. Thankfully I haven’t said it out loud, but I’m worried that I will one day and that it will be super awkward. What’s wrong with me and how do I make it stop?
Imminent Faux Pas
Dear Imminent Faux Pas,
There is nothing wrong with you this is totally normal! Six years is a long time so you are just in the habit of saying his name. It doesn’t mean anything and I’m sure your new boyfriend will understand. Try not to think about it ‘cos the more you do the higher the chance you’ll say it haha. Deal with it if and when it happens. You’re human it’s all good!
Love Chilli xx
What are some cute/fun/awesome ideas for how i can dominate my partner in the bedroom? He has a dominatrix fantasy and I’ve fulfilled it once, but i’d like to do it again. When I first did it I wore leather boots and gave him a lap dance where he couldn’t touch me, then put one of my feet on his thighs so the heels dug into his leg and kinda hurt him but in a good hurt kinda way.
Then I made him take off my underwear with his teeth, and make the bed for us, and a few other things… Then as punishment for something (I can’t remember what) I sat on his face lol. The whole thing basically just ended in sex. BUT i want more ideas, I don’t just wanna do the same thing, more creative ways to dominate. Can you help?
Dear Baby Domme,
Rope play could be fun – tie him up and make him watch you while you pleasure yourself. Get a dog collar and leash and lead him around, make him sit, beg and lick you. Have u tried handcuffs, blindfolds, paddles, etc? Also some pole studios hold workshops so you can learn from mistresses. You could go to a sex shop and ask the staff for assistance. Max Black is a good one, the staff make you feel really comfortable so ask them anything!
Good luck, and have fun 😉
Love Chilli xx
I’ve been with my partner for three years now. I trust him completely when it comes to other women, but recently I found out that he has lied to me habitually for our whole relationship about smoking weed.
When we first met I told him I couldn’t abide being with a regular pot smoker, and he said he had quit. But recently I found out that he semi-regularly smokes, sometimes buying it for himself, and has even requested mutual friends not tell me about it. I confronted him about this and told him I just wanted him to be honest if he was smoking – I don’t want to control his habits, I just need to know who my partner is. Then not even two months later I found out he’d bought more without telling me.
I feel very betrayed and like his actions have undermined my trust in him. Am I over-reacting? Do you think he will ever be able to be honest with me? I’m afraid that it’s a sign he will just keep whatever to himself if he’s afraid it might end in me leaving him.
Dear Weed Affair,
This is a hard one. You say you just want to know who your partner is but then you also say you told him you couldn’t abide being with a regular pot smoker (which he clearly is) so you’re going to have to make a choice.
There is definitely an addiction here and this guy clearly doesn’t want to give you or the pot up, so now the balls in your court. You do know who your partner is, he’s the guy you love, the guy who loves you but also loves pot. Now you have to decide if you can accept him and his addiction or if this is truly a deal breaker. It’s a big decision I don’t envy you and I truly hope whatever you decide makes you happiest in the long run.
Love Chilli xx
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