SHARE

Welcome to The Spice with Chilli Rox – a weekly advice corner from the sassiest seductress in the pole world. If you have a burning question you would like to ask Chilli, send it in an email to:

chillirox@auspoledancersmag.com.au

 

How can I tell him I'm into BDSM?
How can I tell him I’m into BDSM?

 

Dear Chilli,

Firstly, love your column! You are amazing!

I am happily married to a wonderful man, but am not sure how to tell him that I am seriously into BDSM and have been for many years. I have tried to bring it up a few times with him (usually over a wine or two) to which he just kind of brushes off and says he’s not really into it.

I have a girlfriend who is really into that stuff and when we talk about it I get so turned on by her it’s insane! I really want to share this fantasy with him but am not sure how to approach it. I have even considered a kinky role play scenario involving my friend, but I think it would freak him out! Would love to hear your thoughts!

Make Mine a Sub

 

***

Dear Make Mine a Sub,

 

Firstly you say you’re happily married to a wonderful man – wow, congratulations that’s music to my ears! Okay as far as I’m concerned it’s all in the approach, you gotta take baby steps.

 

Start with telling him you want to do something special for him and dress up, maybe lap dance, and use playful toys like whips and fluffy handcuffs. Be assertive but make it fun, compliment him so he doesn’t feel like he hasn’t been satisfying you, let him know he is the one you want to experiment with so he never feels like he has lost control.

 

I’m sure he will love it and be keen to see what you come up with next time, and slowly you can take bigger risks as you gain his interest and trust. Sometimes talking is best, but in this case I think action will get a better result… Just remember slow and steady wins the race. You will be flying your dominatrix flag in no time!

 

Good Luck… I’d love an update!

 

Love Chilli  xx
Are we doomed if we have nothing in common?
Are we doomed if we have nothing in common?

Hi Chilli,

Do you think it’s important to have lots in common with your partner? I love my partner and we get along great but I know that we do not share much in common. He likes boy sports which I have no interest in, and I love pole, dance, and the arts. I’m into healthy living and looking after myself, while he drinks, smokes and eats terribly. It seems like the only thing we know how to do is watch movies together and have sex! Do you think we are doomed unless we can find a common interest/hobby?

Common Ground

***

Dear Common Ground,

 

You know what, I really don’t think it matters at all. If you had asked me years ago my answer would have been different but as I’ve matured I believe we are attracted to people for many different reasons and if it’s movies and good sex, well that sounds awesome to me!

 

You have girlfriends to go shopping with and pole with, and as long as he has his own interests and mates I think it’s completely healthy and awesome that you guys can have space and do your own thing. Try to get him to stop smoking though! Enjoy your time together, celebrate your differences and go with the flow.

 

Love Chilli xx
I'm sick of the drama, how can I tell her?
I’m sick of the drama, how can I tell her?

Dear Chilli,

I have a long term friend and to be honest I don’t enjoy her company. She’s quite negative, she bitches about other people and seems to thrive off drama. I have been trying to ghost her but she is quite persistent in calling and contacting me and I know I probably need to be more assertive if I want to get her out of my life. Can you offer any advice? I am a very non-confrontational person and the idea of “breaking up” with her really makes me uncomfortable!

Ditching the Drama

 

***

 

Dear Ditching the Drama,

 

Wow this is a hard one. My advice is just tell her but if you’re non-confrontational that will be hard. Just keep being busy and avoid seeing her,  she will either get the hint and give up or she will have to ask you what’s wrong. If that happens you have to be strong. Tell her you’re uncomfortable with all the negativity and just want to be happy, and if she can try to not put others down then maybe you can be friends.

 

Good luck,

 

Love Chilli xx

 

WANNA ASK CHILLI ROX?

 

Send your questions to chillirox@auspoledancersmag.com.au – if you are published you will win free access to Polesphere for a month! All questions are confidential.

apdm-banner-click-to-buy-issue-12

LEAVE A REPLY