Welcome to The Spice with Chilli Rox – a weekly advice corner from the sassiest seductress in the pole world. If you have a burning question you would like to ask Chilli, send it in an email to:

Anyone who gets their questions published will win a free month access to Polesphere – the primary learning resource for pole dancers! All questions are completely confidential.


Am I falling too fast?
Am I falling too fast?

Dear Chilli,

My partner of several years broke up with me a few months ago. I’ve taken care of myself and now have started dating.

What I didn’t expect was to fall as hard as I have for my new guy. He has had a more recent break up from a long term thing. There are no alarm bells, how can there be no alarm bells? Am I falling too fast? It’s been a month and we can’t get enough of each other.




Dear Cautious,


Go for it! You have found a great guy and you can’t get enough of each other, woohoo I can’t see any negative points here! 🙂 Get out of your head and into your body and enjoy every moment. It sounds like you both have found what was missing from your previous relationships so just enjoy the ride. Don’t let time or the past get in the way of your happiness!


Love, Chilli xx
Help! I'm devastated by my comp feedback
Help! I’m devastated by my comp feedback

Dear Chilli,

Just recently I entered my first amateur pole dancing competition. I had an absolute blast up on stage performing my routine and overall I was feeling great… Until I looked at the judges results and my heart just dropped. According to them I did terribly. I’m now stuck in a massive rut and feeling so unmotivated with pole dancing & I feel like I’ve let myself down.

Any advice on getting myself out of this rut and back onto the pole?

Bummed Out



Dear Bummed Out,


Congratulations on putting yourself up on that stage. It takes so much strength and bravery, I’m super proud you did that – not everybody can. Focus on your experience and don’t let any scores or results bring you down.


You said you felt great afterwards and it was just the results that left you feeling blue, so my advice is don’t ask to see them in future. Ask your friends and teachers for their honest feedback and work with that. Remember the judges have a horribly hard job to do, so often they may write down just a couple of things to help them remember who you were. Maybe they wrote for example “flexed feet” or “costume didn’t suit music”, it’s not all they see but they have to write something quick so that they remember who everyone is at the end. Often many of the great points just aren’t written down.


I know showgirls who work solidly every weekend, show after show, but couldn’t win a pole comp to save themselves (I’m one of them)! The judges have to judge on the criteria given and often those scores are not reflective of how they felt about the show. So if it felt good, trust me it was good! Get back on that pole, enter all the comps you can, and keep learning. You are awesome.


Love Chilli xx
couple sharing a joke
Oops! I may have taken the joke too far…

Dear Chilli,

I have a great man who likes to support my fantasies. He helps me pretend I have six pack abs by making little bumps with his hand when he rubs my tummy and also making the speed bump sound effects, you know ‘gadoonk gadoonk gadoonk’ when he goes over each pair of pretend ripped abs.

My problem is that I tried to return the favour by pretending his equipment was much bigger than it is. I don’t think he understood because he asked me why I was rubbing his chest like that. Now I think he’s offended.  What should I do?


The Washboard and The Stirring Stick



Dear Washboard and The Stirring Stick,


Hahaha OMG I spat coffee all over myself, best letter ever!


Okay you have some serious making up to do! It’s one thing to joke about abs, but penis size is quite another! My advice is to cook him a beautiful dinner, dress up in your best lingerie and spoil him rotten. Throw in some lines about how no other man has satisfied you the way he does, you know the drill 🙂 and promise to never pretend his penis comes up to his chest again! hahaha


Good luck and thank you for making my day,


Love Chilli xx


Send your questions to – if you are published you will win free access to Polesphere for a month! All questions are confidential.
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