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On the weekend I let myself be affected by the negative opinion of someone close to me.

It was Saturday and I was in Sydney getting ready to compete in Dance Filthy. I was already at the venue when I received messages from someone expressing their disgust and disapproval of the style of pole dancing I was set to perform. The comments were extremely hurtful and offensive to me and I was shaking with anger. The thing I was most mad about was the fact that the person had chosen a time when I was already stressed and anxious about the competition to make me feel worthless.

I’m mad at myself for letting it affect me so much even though I already knew this person doesn’t like the style of pole dancing that originated in strip clubs. I let it affect me so much that I just didn’t have the energy to execute my routine the way I’d planned. That’s nobody’s fault but my own.

What I have learned from this is that I’m never going to please everyone. There will always be someone with something negative to say because they don’t understand the love of this sport like we do.

I’ve always lived my life afraid of disappointing or offending people. Worried if I was good enough, if people actually liked me or if they were just pretending. Finally I’ve realised that by doing that I’m only disappointing myself. Other people may have expectations of me but they aren’t the same as what I want for myself. There’s going to be people who think they know what’s best for you or who incorrectly think they understand your motivations, but the only person who truly knows what is right for you, is you.

From now on I plan on living life on my own terms and not to please anyone else.

Have you ever let negativity get you down in your pole life or normal life?

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